Dating Your Husband After Having Kids – How It’s Different

Saturday night my husband, Mike, and I went out on a date.  Actually, it was our Valentines Day celebration.  We finally found a babysitter that would watch our little dumplings on a Saturday night!  We’ve been married almost ten years now, and it must be a sign of a good marriage because it doesn’t feel nearly that long.  Sure, we’ve shared our ups and downs along the way, but our relationship has remained strong and solid throughout these hiccups of domesticity.

Marriage



While our marriage has remained much the same, our dates are certainly much different now than they were three or four years ago. Many of those differences can be associated with our precious Dumpling A and Dumpling B.  Here are some ways that our dates have changed:

Getting Ready

This is easier said than done with two kids wanting attention at breakdown time (also known as six o’clock).  I used to take my time trying on outfits and playing around with my makeup.  Saturday, I had to space out my “getting ready” by making sure to perfectly straighten my hair in the morning, applying my makeup while the kids were napping, and planning my outfit out when I could squeeze a moment in.  Time no longer allows for noncommittal wardrobe choices.

The Restaurant

Reservations were booked in advance, a definite change from our pre-kids dates. We went to a Cajun seafood restaurant (I’m still celebrating being non-allergic to shellfish). We used to circle around, randomly looking for places to have dinner.  When you’re paying someone hourly to watch your dumplings, you don’t dawdle so much.

The Meal

No more cutting costs on the bill.  Before having our kids, we used to go out two or three times a week, but for less expensive cuisine.  When you only make it out once every month or two you can certainly afford to splurge a little.  Appetizers, desserts, you name it we ordered it an ate it(see my post on getting back to the treadmill here)

The Return

Needless to say, there was to be no choosing a movie after dinner.   We’d had our two hours and the date was over. We knew our oldest daughter would still be awake so we drove straight home after our feast.  As our welcome home, we were rewarded with watching her bounding at us in joy.

Even though our dating life has drastically changed, we are still lucky enough to enjoy each others company after almost ten years of marriage and two kids. Having our dates so spaced out from one another, while definitely not ideal, has me appreciating them, and him, even more.

What is your dating life like with your husband?  How has it changed?

11 Comments on Dating Your Husband After Having Kids – How It’s Different

  1. Celeste
    March 27, 2014 at 3:13 am (5 months ago)

    Definitely more planning ahead and less dawdling around for sure! Did you change your blog design a little bit or is it just my imagination? It looks really nice!

    Reply
    • cajenns@gmail.com
      March 27, 2014 at 4:14 pm (5 months ago)

      I did change it around a little bit, thanks!

      Reply
  2. Christine Ardigo
    March 28, 2014 at 11:30 am (5 months ago)

    So true!
    I recently got back together with my Ex husband and it was impossible to date him! Hee hee
    He had his own apartment but we could barely find time to be alone. <3
    Thank you for this, I think we all feel the same way.

    Reply
    • cajenns@gmail.com
      March 28, 2014 at 6:36 pm (5 months ago)

      Thanks for your comment Christine! Congrats on the reuniting :)

      Reply
  3. lcrilley
    March 30, 2014 at 2:55 pm (5 months ago)

    It sounds like the planning was certainly worth it! How great that you still take the time for the two of you!

    Reply
  4. yumeating
    March 31, 2014 at 6:50 pm (5 months ago)

    Dating your partner should never end. Not after marriage, not after children. Not ever. It’s something that therapists will tell any partnership that it is a must for so many reasons. Thanks for these tips!

    Reply
  5. Suzanne Lucas
    April 3, 2014 at 12:01 am (5 months ago)

    Ah yes, dating is different but hey, we just become more efficient. There’s something to be said about that! Happy 10th anniversary!

    Reply
    • cajenns@gmail.com
      April 3, 2014 at 3:09 pm (5 months ago)

      Thanks so much Suzanne!

      Reply
  6. Bonnie Frank
    April 4, 2014 at 1:56 pm (5 months ago)

    I can definitely relate to the getting ready throughout the day! What a change is right!

    Reply
  7. creativekkids
    April 6, 2014 at 8:45 pm (5 months ago)

    And your conversation is different–you talk about the kids :). My husband and I were amazed about how many things we could discuss in 1 – 2 hours with no distractions! Thanks for linking up with the Bloggers Brags Pinterest Party. I have pinned your post to the Bloggers Brags Pinterest Board!

    Reply
    • cajenns@gmail.com
      April 7, 2014 at 12:11 pm (5 months ago)

      Thanks so much for the pin! We do definitely talk a lot about the kids when we’re out, even if we try not to its hard to think of much else sometimes :)

      Reply

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